Women, you owe no one a ‘happy’ marriage

Monday, November 25th, 2019 00:00 |
Picture used for illustration only. Photo/Courtesy

Some day in the near future, we won’t lose yet another woman to marital woes, domestic violence if you may. But that day won’t just knock on marriage doors. Just like any other good thing, we’ll have to sweat it out as women.

 All it takes is self-belief. When we finally realise that it was never a crime to be single, we’ll get there.

When we realise we’re our own damn mind, abilities, effort, achievements, success and that a man adds completely nothing to that equation, we’ll get there safe and sound.

And I’m not saying all marriages have to take this turn. This is for that woman who continues to stay, amidst the insecurities, the violence, the disrespect, the lack of peace, the unhappiness, hoping one day he’ll change, but it keeps getting worse. 

How a woman constantly stays on the receiving end of this wickedness beats me. I mean, it has to be madness. For what again? To just have a man around?

Oh he provides! So we stay because the only thing he does is provide? And oh there’s more, the kicks and insults?

Women have to love themselves more, marriage ain’t no one’s birthright. So I read about this mamaa whose ‘hubby’ no longer pulls his weight in the house.

Guy doesn’t pay fees for his kids, not even books, food or clad, but the b*”*er plunges 75 gees on pints in one sitting. But the wife continues to enable his behaviour. Ati out there he looks and behaves like he gat his family covered, kumbe kwa ground vitu ni different.

Move on marrying another, and if he’s violent walk away. Walk away, walk away until you find one sober one, we won’t judge, and those who will don’t matter anyway.

Me? I’d rather have a million ex-husbands than one who might end up strangling me to death judge me or not, I love myself more. 

And our mothers and those aunties should never paint a woman a failure for leaving such a marriage. Because this is where it all begins.

‘Nitaambia watu nini?’ It's about time parents realised that its a different generation now, women today can’t ‘vumilia’ like they did back then. ‘Kuvumilia’ today is totally different from their ‘vumilia’.

Vumilia today would mean, the abuse, the slay queens, herpes, the excessive drinking... a slashed arm, slashed legs, a disfigured face from acid attack, and now, now they’re even killing innocent offspring…weeeee! Need I say more?

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