The visitor dilemma for new mums

As an African people, cultural practices that surround the birth of a child have always served the purpose in cementing ties amongst families. People would travel from different places to pay homage to the new baby, while also bringing gifts for both the mother and the bundle of joy. Some of these visitations involved feasts and parties. But with the pandemic threats and social distancing regulations put in place by the Ministry of Health, everything has changed. Grace Wanjiku’s three-months-old son, Yassin, came to the world at a completely different time.Wanjiku’s pregnancy had not been easy, especially during the last trimester. “Being a new mum and having a baby during this pandemic has been hard. During my pregnancy, I was scared of going for pre-natal clinic as I feared I would contract the virus. But I had to do it for the sake of my baby, especially during my last trimester. I had to cancel my baby shower party because of social distancing measures, which was a big disappointment for me as I had eagerly awaited and planned so much for it,” Wanjiku says. She delivered a baby boy via Caesarian Section in July this year and could only have limited visitors. “The rules of the hospital were one visitor a day. So many family members and friends wanted to visit me, but couldn’t. My mum and husband were the only ones who were with me for the five days I was admitted and they took turns,” she reveals. Taking extra caution When she finally got to take her son home, she had to be extra cautious. “I had a help who would come in the morning and leave in the evening, but I had to fire her because I couldn’t risk our health,” shares the new mum Being a first time mum, with a new baby and all the chores that needed to be done did not make things any easier. As much as family members would call and requestll to visit or help, she would not accept it. She adds: “Additionally, Muslims usually have an Islamic welcoming celebration for a new baby known as Aqiqah. It consists of traditional rituals such as slaughtering of a sheep or goat, prayers, naming the baby and having meals together. A child’s first hair is cut. It’s often held on the seventh day after the child’s birth. We didn’t have any of that because of the pandemic. I have had to postpone it to date,” she says. Wanjiku had high expectations of guests coming to visit. It would have been a big help for her to at least get some little time to relax and rest. “The visitors also come with a lot of goodies for both the mum and baby, but I hardly got any. It’s been three months now and the people who have visited and held my son are less than five... I have learned to cope with this new normal and though it’s hard, I’m grateful that both my baby and I are okay and healthy,” she says. Riziki Athman got her second baby on August 11, this year and with fear of the fast spreading virus, she shares that not even her mother has come to visit and hold the baby. She would rather not take the chances as much as she wishes things were different. “I wish my mother would have come from Lamu as we had arranged much earlier, but we had to postpone it. She is safe where she is just as we are safe where we are. I don’t want her to catch the virus on her way here then bring it to the baby. Also, I know she would have brought my aunties along with her to share the joys, but I’m honestly not allowing any visitors at all right now. We have WhatsApp video calls though with my friends and even mum so she has seen the baby and Inshallah, things will get better. Even the neighbours just know I put to bed but have not seen the baby. I cannot allow anybody in the house. It feels like we are hiding from the rest of our people and it is a terrible situation, but what can we do?” she poses. Time alone As a child therapist and counselling psychologist, Faith Mutegi says, as new mums and social beings, we all yearn for connection. Something that the pandemic has stolen from new mums. “This social need was stripped offfrom new mums who may have needed someone to chat the hours away as well as care of the little bundle of joy while they get a much deserved break to recharge. For a new mum, having envisioned a boisterous support system only for social distancing to be enforced, one may have had to contend with a myriad of thoughts and feelings by themselves without any social support,” says Faith. On the plus side, this may have been a great time for new mums who yearned to get time alone to connect with their newborn without having to act as a host to visitors every now and then. “For career mums who could work from home, the new reality worked to their advantage. They have enough time to bond and look after the baby even after their maternity leave is over,” she adds.

The visitor dilemma for new mums

Latest News

Perfecting filmwork, one story after another

Endorsement by Mt Kenya Foundation will not change Raila – Raila Jr says

PNU, Ubuntu to sign first pre-election deal with ODM during Raila’s Azimio la Umoja event

Mt Kenya Foundation finally picks Raila Odinga for presidency

Mt Kenya tycoons holed up in meeting with Raila Odinga

Serve with courage, integrity and discipline – President Kenyatta tasks new GSU officers

Six Mount Kenya governors confirm their attendance to Raila’s Azimio La Umoja Convention

More on Lifestyle

Bad girls make their heaven here on earth

Study links malnutrition to higher pneumonia deaths

Motoring 101: You’ve been driving wrong all along

Tried N’ Tasted: Pizza à la Migori

Follow us:

The visitor dilemma for new mums

Latest News

More on Lifestyle

Every morning, our editors cut through the noise and send a digest of the day's top news. Subscribe here to get the digest and a free copy of our e-paper