Tales of the annoying village campuses

Monday, July 20th, 2020 00:00 |
University students. Photo/Courtesy

Michael Muraya @michael_muraya

With no end to this new normal seeming anywhere close, some campos have come up with ways of ensuring that comrades are well engaged during this time.

Some have already started online classes while others are still struggling with its implementation.

It seems like comrades have bundles for football banter and TikTok cameos, but none for online classes. Anyway, that is a tale for another day.

This new arrangement of campo from home is not only new to most comrades, but also inconveniencing to folks back at home. 

This is because, all the drama that comrades have in campos has now been transferred to their homes.

After months of abandoning the god-forsaken suburbs and adopting odd styles and bizarre accents, campo boys and girls are now fixed back to their roots.

This is the time for self proclaimed ballers to humble up in their respective residences in UK (read Ukambani Kingdom), US (United States—of Kiambu) and so on.

Atop the drama is perhaps be that set of careless and carnally active comrades who went back home with a pregnancy.

These kids with incoming kids are now having a hard time explaining to their grandmothers that they are part of a reproductive experiment for their biology project, which forms an integral part of the university course work!

Then there is that set of kids who since they joined campus, their ego shot up by 900 per cent and now they are Aristotles and esteemed scholars who have to sound sophisticated at all times.

They never have pets, it’s animal companions; nor do they give girls flowers, rather, they offer them botanical tokens!

So, y’all can imagine how these peeps are confusing the whole village when making their rounds in the villages to make their presence known.

These are the same comrades skipping online classes because they have been making tours around their villages, intimidating folks with borrowed English with the hopes of becoming MCAs in 2022.

These dudes have now adopted a template of announcing their itineraries on social media telling us who they met on that day, how they “discussed on the role of the youth in national cohesion” which is always supported by a picture of the kid getting a handshake from the politician.

A picture with with the politician will suddenly rise the teenager into highs of self glorification that y’all will have to literally beg before getting your calls picked.

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