Should I allow my neighbour’s wife do chores for me?

Monday, May 18th, 2020 00:00 |
My neighbour’s wife do chores for me?

Hi Achokis.

I’m a single man living alone. Recently, my neighbour’s wife paid me a visit and requested if I could allow her wash my clothes and house, so as to help them pay some bills during this Covid-19 season. It looks like the man of the house was laid off.

At first, it looked like a good idea, but thank God I didn’t give her an answer immediately.

She has been calling and pressing me for an answer, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t talk to the husband except for greetings. What should I do?

Our take

This is a tricky situation. You want to help and don’t want to be rude, but yet fear what this might bring.

It would have been much easier if you already had a rapport with the husband. 

Times are tough and as they say, desperate times call for desperate actions. Probably, this is why your neighbour’s wife has approached you with this request.

This puts this woman in a terrible situation that makes her vulnerable. Sharing such stuff with you — another man, exposes her to you as she is at a place that she may feel she can do anything for you to feed her family. You don’t want to put her or yourself in that situation. 

Secondly, it also exposes her husband. The husband’s ego may be bruised by the fact that his wife is washing clothes for another man, a single man at that and a neighbour too.

This may make him react badly, especially bearing in mind what he already may be going through because of his situation.

Even though there might be nothing between the two of you, her husband may become suspicious or jealous and cause some fracas in the plot. 

So what should you do? Let her know that as much as you would like to help her, you are not comfortable with that arrangement.

Appreciate the fact that she’s willing to do anything to help her family. You just have to come out forthright and explain to her the reason this may not be a good idea.

You want to maintain good neighbourliness and respect between the two of you and her husband.

Please, don’t make it sound like you are suspecting that she wants you to sleep with her. 

Think of other ways you could help her without her working for you, like getting your friend from another apartment to help her or, preferably a family.

Try reaching out to the man too, now that you know about the situation, this is a good opportunity to get to know him and help a brother out.

Men don’t talk and you could just be the man to help this man by being there for him and helping in ways only you can. - The writers are marriage and relationship coaches [email protected]

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