Shitholes to freeze Trump assets as Mexico builds wall

Monday, November 9th, 2020 00:00 |
Donald Trump and President Museveni.

Mambo Matata

Shithole countries have warned embattled United States of America President Donald Trump that he risks stiff sanctions, if he refuses to hand over power peacefully.

Neighbouring Mexico has also announced advanced plans to build a border wall to keep away US citizens fleeing possible post-election violence, should Trump refuse to concede to his Democratic rival Joe Biden.

In a statement, the Organisation of Shithole Unity (OSU) accused the leader of the Free World of trying to undermine his country’s democratic process. 

Trump, the statement said, must listen to the voice of the people and leave the White House peacefully or face the consequences of his decisions.

Western despots

“Choices have consequences. We live in an interconnected world and the President should be thoughtful about the impact, that his choices have on his nation’s economy, on the society and on the world,” the statement read in part.

OSU warned that should Trump insist on being an a**hole and cling to power despite losing the election, the organisation’s future engagements with the United States would be restricted to essential matters.

It also threatened to freeze Trump’s assets including bank accounts, seize golf courses and Trump towers. 

His close associates would also be banned from travel to Shithole countries for official duty, business or pleasure.

Among Trump associates likely to face the travel ban are his close advisors Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Donald Trump Jr, Steve Bannon and Fox News. Their assets, like the President’s, would also be frozen, according to the statement.

Melania Trump would, however, be allowed to visit as long as she does not don the colonial pit helmet she wore when she visited Africa in 2018.

“Western despots and their associates should be told in no uncertain terms, that they will not be allowed to enjoy the hospitality and prosperity of our great nations, while trampling on the rights of their people back home,” the statement continued to say.

The Shithole countries said they might consider helping the American people to forcibly eject Trump out of the White House should need arise.

“There is no limit to our willingness to help the American people preserve their democratic values.

And if that means going to the extent of dragging Trump, kicking and screaming, out of the Oval Office and delivering him at The Hague, we are more than willing to help,” OSU added. 

The statement said the OSU nations have a lot of experience in carrying out such rough transitions and their experience would come in handy, should push come to shove in the land of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.

Sources said the organisation has in place special troops ready to jet into Washington and do the necessary, if the American people ask for that kind of help.

Trump allies Russia and North Korea have, however, warned OSU against interfering in the internal affairs of the United States, saying only homegrown solutions can solve America’s problems.

“OSU should stop the habit of poking their stubby nose in the affairs of sovereign states. We know that it is always about their selfish interests,” Russia and North Korea said in a joint statement. 

Lasting solution

Meanwhile, Mexico’s plans to build a wall to block hordes of American refugees crossing into the country, should the world’s greatest democracy degenerate into chaos, are in top gear.

President Andrés Manuel López Obrador said his country would build the wall but the Americans would be made to pay for it.

The wall, he said, would be a lasting solution to the perennial problem of America’s political and economic refugees crossing into Mexico. 

“I will build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I’ll build them very inexpensively, I will build a great, great wall on our northern border. And I will have the United States pay for that wall,” said President López Obrador. [email protected]

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