Of male emasculation and rising spousal murders

Today, I will start off with a disclaimer. This column is not for the faint-hearted, those who have not yet smelt the coffee, pretenders, and those whose heads are still in the sand. Here we say it as it is; what needs to be said, not what you may want to read.

No, thank you, we are not politically correct! We do not pull punches either or use velvet gloves. It is a no-holds barred, take-no-prisoners conversation. We speak for the silent majority, those who are deeply hurting, but do not have a platform where they can express their angst.

Now, the issue of domestic violence has refused to go away from our society. When we just thought that things had cooled off somewhat, we got a rude awakening last week when a soldier in the Kenya Airforce was arrested as a key suspect in the death of his ex-wife and two children in Nanyuki.

The bodies were found in a shallow grave at a disused cemetery in Nanyuki. Now, someone please tell us; why would such a senior member of society from the disciplined forces decide to kill his family in such a gruesome manner? Why would he decide to lose everything, but get “justice” for himself?

It is foolhardy to continue calling men names for their increased propensity to violence.  I have written about this topic before, and I am repeating the issue today. I believe anyone who appreciates this column has an enlightened sense of analysis over the pedestrian views expressed by the ignorant majority. 

British Conservative Party politician Stanley Baldwin once said that, “power without responsibility is the prerogative of the harlot throughout the ages”. Baldwin used this insult in a speech he made on March 17, 1931 in retaliation to a section of the local press who had attacked him.  

It simply means that there is no power without control. We are busy pontificating to men about how they should behave with tolerance and decorum, but no one is advising women how to handle their newfound freedoms. 

Of course, the popular script is about how some men today cannot handle independent women, and all that jazz! That is just euphemism for male emasculation, for reasons best known to the scheme’s perpetrators.

And then there is the other absurd call for men to drop their egos, since it is the source of their superiority complex. Seriously? I mean, it is like telling the lioness to pluck its mane, or the leopard to whitewash its spots. You may as well give men skirts. This is where the problem lies. 

There seems be a systematic affront on men’s identity, as a way of tilting gender balance towards women. There are covert legal, economic and social strategies to strip men of their traditional authority. 

Ironically, the world wants men to lead from the front, but still expects them to behave like neutered species. From the pulpit to the public galleries, male bashing is creating and destroying lives and careers. This is what is cutting, and the earlier we address it the better for all of us. 

The world celebrated the International Men’s Day on Tuesday. The theme of this year’s celebration is “Making a difference for men and boys”. We are really living in interesting times with a vulnerable boychild.

In the spirit of the IMD, let us celebrate the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities. Instead of more stereotyping and condemnations, we should resolve to highlight the positive role models, and raise awareness of men’s challenges in a new world.

— The writer is a communications expert, and public policy analyst. [email protected]