I will never again accept invitations from strangers

MCA Gwinso Being a trusted ward rep is not easy: The countless invitations I receive! Most of these involve raising funds, even when disguised as ‘goat devouring meetings.’ I have turned down quite a number of them. However, there are some invitations I dare not turn down, like the one I received last Friday from the head teacher of a primary school in my ward. She thought it wise to invite me to what she called ‘an important ground breaking academic event’. “Your presence in this occasion of wishing our children the success will be highly appreciated,” she wrote in her invitation card. Although I did not quite know her, since she was new in the school, I believed the event was meant to promote education in my ward. I did not bother to find out what it was all about. Little did I know the awkward position I had put myself into. To me, this was also an opportunity to brush shoulders with the high and the mighty in our county. But most important, it was a chance to give Mama Hirohito, the daughter of my mother-in-law, a treat. It was long since I took her out, blame it on my busy schedule. You should have seen the glow on her face when I informed her of the event. “Make sure you wear that outfit I love most,” I said. She gave me an endearing don’t-tell-me-the-obvious look. When I told MCA Matayo of the event, I realised my colleague did not know much about it. We agreed to use his car to cut down on costs. “Yes, we can sit in front and let the women gossip at the back,” I said. “Which women?” Matayo asked, giving me a look reserved for an irredeemable imbecile. “Bwana Gwinso, you mean you intend to go to such an event with Mama Watoto? Are you crazy or something?” He looked genuinely appalled. I was confused. I had thought the occasion was a perfect opportunity for couples to bond, but now this! “Listen, attend the event with our wife at your own peril. Never say I did not warn you,” Matayo said. I did not know what to do since Mama Hiro was obviously already preparing for the great evening. I told Matayo as much. “Simple,” he retorted. “Just tell her the governor has called for an important meeting the same evening to discuss allowances for MCAs’ spouses, and that if you miss she will be disadvantaged.” I looked at Matayo’s head and marvelled at how so much wisdom could be lodged in there. Back in the house, I did not have much difficulty explaining to Mama Hiro why we would have to cancel the outing. After all, she was going to benefit from our ‘meeting’. Come the morning of the event, Matayo and I breezed into the venue. We were ushered into the hall and given seats. The event, which was to begin at 9 am, had not begun by 10. To make matters worse, the head teacher was nowhere to be seen. Instead, there were some goats grazing at the venue. “Kwani what is happening?” my colleague asked me. I had no answer. I called the teacher and inquired what was happening. “Mheshimiwa, Sorry, I have just learnt that Grade Three pupils are not sitting an exam, so there is no need for a prayer day.” “Why didn’t you say so?” I asked. “I am sorry, Mheshimwa, I did not know that.” I told my colleague what had transpired. “Gwinso, why didn’t you just tell me the truth?” Matayo asked. My attempts to explain fell on deaf ears: My colleague was on his way out. Shida zangu ni nyingi. – a.otieno@pu.ac.ke

I will never again accept invitations from strangers

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