Hilarity of village borrowing vs bloated State loans

As you know by now, my uncle Habbakuk is a shopkeeper. Or rather his wife, Honerea is. I know that sounds confusing but both are what you might want to refer to as stakeholders. That means that the chap forked out part of his retirement money to set up shop, literally. But the woman has the last word on running the grocery shop (in my days as a youth we used to have provision stores, long before supermarkets came along). Now, my uncle’s is even sign-posted proudly just above the door (yes, it's not an entrance, just a door!): Habbakuk and Sons. The village signwriter even knew to put it in italics, just for the sake of swag, as latter-day generations would say. It was said the signwriter was an escapee from jail where he had been on death row and made good his escape. Troop back This was discussed in low tones since his crime was reported to be murder. You didn’t want a murderer who has run away from the prison taking an interest in you. But that is a story for another day. I was telling you about my uncle and his shop. Much as he brags about his retirement project, he knows little about books of accounts. Neither does the wife but that is neither here nor there. The duka’s book of accounts is a little exercise book, which the wife keeps under a pile of biscuit boxes. In this book is written names of those who take goods on credit. There will be mama Nderitu, who took a quarter kilo of sugar, two packets of tea leaves, a packet of matchboxes and a fountain pen for her son King’ori. Of course, village talk is that King’ori was sired by the local taxi driver but no one knows for sure. It could be true since the lad does not quite resemble his siblings. The rumour has refused to go away. Again, a story for another occasion. Back to our story. Unlike in towns, such things as fountain pens and pencils are sold at the local duka. If a local man or woman saunters to the duka to take more goods on credit but finds other shoppers, he will pretend to have come for a chat or to “just greet you”. He will troop back later when there are no prying eyes or ears. Of course, my uncle has little idea of how many villagers owe his business money. That is a closely guarded secret his wife keeps from him. Using this arsenal, she ensures fellow women treat her well during chama meetings, lest their secrets are aired out in the open. You see, folks might borrow from the village duka but that was supposed to be under wraps. If word leaked that so and so owed cash at the duka, that would be embarrassing. Fetch live coals The issue of debts is not new, either to the village or indeed generally in the village. Away from the village duka, one family will send its youngest son or daughter to fetch live coals from the neighbour’s. That would mean that house has no matchstick. Or it would mean some visitors may have come calling suddenly and the coals at the fireplace are cold, actually ashes. Then it would mean taking sugar on credit at the duka. In more serious cases, a child is sent to “borrow” maize flour, essentially meaning the attempt to make ugali has come a cropper since there is more water than flour in the pot. A family could “borrow” anything. Even tea leaves. In a few cases gone extreme, folks borrowed clothes, which they donned to attend special occasions, or go to the boogie (before the discos came calling). We have come from far... It is with this in mind that I was not surprised when our house of shenanigans, also called Parliament, increased the level to which our government can borrow. Why the government would like to borrow more money is beyond me. Perhaps, so that our bureaucrats and penpushers can have more to steal. Lost to corruption Officially, the anti-graft agency said not so long ago that about $ 6 billion is lost to corruption in this country. Or a third of all our money. In short, there is no harm appearing in my uncle’s little book as a borrower. It is okay. As long as you will pay. After all, even the government borrows. Perhaps, not sugar or tea leaves but maybe for bigger things. Have a debt-free week, folks! – The writer is Special Projects Editor, People Daily

Hilarity of village borrowing vs bloated State loans

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Hilarity of village borrowing vs bloated State loans

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