Covid-19 curfew humbles husbands a good one!

Monday, April 6th, 2020 00:00 |
It was business as usual at Kondele Estate in Kisumu a few minutes past 7pm on Monday even after the government imposed a dusk to dawn curfew to curb the spread of coronavirus. Police used teargas to disperse them. Photo/PD/VIOLA KOSOME

But this rona, waah! The toll it has taken on husbands is on another level. And I’m in no way trying to poke fun on this serious pandemic, but facts.

A few weeks ago husbands were hubbies, now the goat wives are bored already. There’s good news.

No deaths reported because husbands witnessed curtains been drawn in their own homes.

No husband died because they were home by 7.00pm or missed the usual one for the road that ends up being a crate for the road. Husbands have been humbled a good one.

Now they’re watching Maria, because when he was busy watching premier league out there someone else took over the remote.

There’s a schedule for wife and kids and no one is ready to change anything. So its News, Maria…Peppa Piiiiiiiig, maybe Mr Bean News, Maria, soaps, News, Paw Patrol repeat.

So there’s this particular one, working from home. Report to work once a week. And does he look forward to this once a week office run. The lucky bugger has one: say his office ying yang that he now meets once a week. Two:  estate yang, talk about kujipanga.

And, three: at home, well there’s Maria and Peppa Pig.  But how they manage to sit through a whole 15 minutes of Maria and those talking pigs, is the find x in this algebra.

So, let’s try shoes and find this x. So that, once a week office run.  Easy peasy.  That’s when you dedicate time for her. And because it shouldn’t be a whole day’s thing, ‘carry work home’.

Her home ofcourse. Spend quality time discussing new marketing strategies for the company and maybe appraisals or whatever ‘work related’ issues two clandestine humans discuss.  But be sure to hit the road in good time, you have a curfew to beat.

If not the office yang. There’s one around the corner, because why drive all the way to Zimmerman or Githurai or even Ndonyo when you have one around.

Never forget proximity’s very crucial in this karantini times. So, maybe sneak out for a ‘drive’, to the ‘office’ and work from her home.

This way you’re completely in line with the work from home directive, at the same time have dominion over your sanity.

Always remember the motivation: Maria, Peppa Pig and more soaps. While at it make sure you wash your hands, sanitise and if your ‘work mate’ shows signs of corona... self-quarantine.

This is where you call home, inform the missus you’ve been self-quarantined after coming into contact with a suspected Covid-19 case.

When you get tired, because well, social distancing, go back home having tested negative. Mh mh mh, so many formulaes in finding this x. Forgot to mention the Covid-19 square root.

Two options. Stay out and risk exposure. Or  stay  home, and maintain your cool as that remote takes shifts.

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