With FANNE MWAMBI \u201cMum, why do you say there are two of us, yet I know I have a brother?\u201d This is a question a friend\u2019s son asked once at his father birthday party. As expected, the room fell silent and every adult coiled away in solidarity with my friend and her husband\u2019s reaction.\u00a0 We all knew that my friend had a son out of wedlock and that the boy had been introduced to the family. We all, however, refrained from having this discussion and silently kept it at bay. Asking in front of everyone not only showed us how much had been explained (or not!), it also opened our eyes to situations we should avoid if we can. Tough situation Many men who get children from infidelity engagements keep them a secret only disclosed in their death. I remember waiting, during my father\u2019s funeral for sons we had merely heard existed, to show up. They did not and I wondered if it was because they knew that all our parents\u2019 properties were in my mother\u2019s name.\u00a0 Recently, legal fight for the control of the estate of Fidel Odinga began at the High Court. Twins, born months after Fidel\u2019s death in January 2015, are at the centre of the property battle in which his mother Ida Odinga and sister Winnie are seeking rights of administration over his estate. The rights had been granted to his widow Lwam Getachew Bekele. This puts the widows in tough situations as they are forced to cope with the heartbreaking truth of their husbands\u2019 infidelity and immediately accept to share their hard-earned money with them. Disadvantaged widows This is so real, especially with government officials as the pay-offs are withheld until an agreement is reached. Many widows are hence forced to accept any child who is presented. Since most do not seek a lawyer\u2019s counsel, they easily get swindled by cons who pose as custodians of children who don\u2019t truly belong. Frankly, I cannot say if it\u2019s better for men to risk losing their families by admitting such truths to their spouses, I know I would find it difficult to forgive, but then wouldn\u2019t it make it easy to have all children properly accounted for when their property is distributed? After all, the child is at no fault.