Clerics warn against return to dark days of Njoya and company

MAMBO MATATA Shocked by an unusual sermon by a Nairobi cleric, Kenyan pastors have warned against what they say are attempts by a few misguided colleagues to return the country to the dark days of ignorance when clergymen did not know what side of their bread of life was buttered. They said the men and women of the cloth were now awoke and such sermons were not only retrogressive, they amounted to biting the hand that feeds you. “What is wrong with the prosperity gospel and the casting of demons and removing of ancestral curses that we are doing so well now? We have come too far to go back to the dark 1990s,” said the Most Reverend Apostle Prophet Dr Silingi Mwana A’Mpesa, who is the secretary general of the Conference of Awoke Churches of Kenya (CACK). The pastor said the days of Henry Okulu, Manasses Kuria, David Gitari, Alexander Muge, Nding’i Mwana A’Nzeki and Timothy Njoya was a sad epoch in the history of the Kenyan church and everything must be done to prevent a backsliding to that unfortunate error. “Those clerics were an embarrassment to the church and the faith. Just imagine a whole clergyman like Timothy Njoya rolling in the mud, yelling at the top of his voice and begging for mercy as he is being clobbered for refusing to stick to nice, soothing sermons? We never want to go back to that kind of outrage and anyone who tries to take us there will be resisted with full force,” said Apostle Prophet A’Mpesa. He said that unlike the infamous fiery clerics of the 90s, the latter-day pastor is fully aware that the earthly kingdom belongs to the meek. And to enjoy a little heaven down here as they wait for the promised one up there, he said, pastors have to learn to anoint the right foreheads and kiss strategic feet. “Instead of driving away our leaders with insensitive sermons, we should swing the doors of our sanctuaries wide open for them. Instead of pointing fingers at them, we should be placing our unworthy hands on their honourable heads,” said the CACK Secretary General. That way, he observed, an abundance of blessings would flow to the churches and their pastors every Sunday and every day in the form of full collection baskets, well fed clerics V8s and other creature comforts. Apostle Prophet A’Mpesa noted the church had particularly witnessed a sharp increase in blessings in the past four years as more pastors opened the doors of their churches to the politicians and it would be a sacrilege for anyone to try to roll back the blessings with reckless sermons. He beseeched the country’s clergy to strictly practice CACK creed of seeing no evil, hearing no evil and saying no evil. “It is the creed of abundance and blessings and we should all live by it,” he said. Another clergyman said the clerics already have their hands full with more important sinners and politicians should be the least of their worries. “There are drunkards, women of wanting virtue, people who don’t tithe and those who do not send their Sh310 for their weekly miracles, the demon possessed and other such x-rated sinners to rave and rant about. Why bother with the politicians,?” posed the pastor. He called for a code of conduct for the practice of pastorhood to prevent what he called clerics with loose tongues from scaring away the church’s blessings. “Such unguarded tongues are like the noisy children who scare away the bird when it is about to the enter the trap. They cannot be allowed to operate like that. They should be silenced,” he concluded philosophically. – matatacolumn@gmail.com

Clerics warn against return to dark days of Njoya and company

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Clerics warn against return to dark days of Njoya and company

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