Building love: Relationship tips that are best ignored

Wednesday, August 21st, 2019 00:00 |

Play hard to get: “The vast majority of the time playing hard to get guarantees that both of you are going to end up alone,” says James Anderson, a dating expert at Beyond Ages.

The dating world is competitive and few people have the time to constantly pursue someone who is not demonstrating any interest. Stop playing these silly games and show a little interest back.

You will be giving yourself many more opportunities with people you otherwise might have missed out on.

Never go to bed angry:  It’s actually better to take some time to chill out before discussing something you’re feeling worked up about. When things get heated, we tend to say things we don’t always mean.

Sleeping on it can give you that needed time to cool off, and in most cases, whatever it was will not seem as big by morning. So, it’s indeed a good thing to go to bed angry.

Age is just a number: There are certainly relationships with age gaps that work out beautifully, but experts say couples closer in age tend to be happier. Age matters less as you get older, that’s true. But dating someone close to your age has huge benefits.

You’ll have the same cultural references, interests and grow into new life stages at the same time. It’s thought men’s preferences for younger women and women’s preferences for older men relate to reproductive fitness.

That is, the extent to which someone has ‘good genes’ – indicated by their attractiveness and vitality – and the extent to which they are a ‘good investment’ – indicated by their status and resources as well as their sense of trust.

Don’t put your eggs in one basket: It’s not unusual for friends and family to caution someone not to bank on a particular relationship working out, but this advice is pretty problematic for those in serious relationships.

It usually encourages couples to prepare for the end of the relationship in some subtle way. All it really does is point to the insecurities and trust issues in the relationship. Who can really make a happy home with one foot in and one foot toward the exit?

Opposites attract: No, you don’t have to be exactly alike, but seeking out someone completely different from you in every meaningful way is a recipe for disaster. You must have some common interests and values. If you don’t, there is no glue to bind the relationship.

Time heals all wounds: While time is necessary to get over being hurt, time does not necessarily heal anything. If time heals wounds, then why are there grumpy old people? Making healthy decisions to treat the wounds heal them, not time.

Your perfect match is out there: There is no such thing as a perfect partner. Every single person you will meet is going to have flaws, and your relationship will reach a point where it is no longer effortless.

If you accept this fact, you may find that one of the people who you thought was ‘not so perfect’ is actually pretty great for you.

The man should pay: There’s a simple alternative to this outdated dating advice: Whoever asked for the date should pay.

The other person should always offer to pay or split. It’s a nice gesture that goes a long way. Remember, picking up the check at least some of the time is one of the best dating tips.

 Leave the past behind you: It’s important not to get too hung up on the past when you’re in a relationship, but there are some things in the past that you need to discuss, like past debts, relationships, or even children.

While to some extent your past shouldn’t dictate your future, it’s important that you know whom you’re getting into a committed relationship with before it’s too late.

The kids should always come first:  Although this sounds like good advice, it sets the couple up for a great deal of difficulty throughout the relationship and, especially once they become empty nesters.

The relationship needs to be the priority, not the children. If the relationship is strong, the children will prosper. Putting the children first often leads to resentment in the relationship and entitled children.   — Compiled from Internet sources

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