Behold our love…
After two-and-a-half years of trying to conceive, James Kanyugo and his wife Elizabeth Wambui got a baby mid last year, whom they named Wendo. They share their struggle and what worked for them
Elizabeth Wambui always wanted a honeymoon baby. So when she walked dow n the isle to wed the love of his life James Kanyugo Kiarie on Aprill 11, 2015, she was prepared to be a mother as soon as possible.
However, James, an easy guy, wasn’t in any rush to get a baby. “Like many African girls, I always wanted children and many children for that matter,” she says.
However, it didn’t happen as Wambui had expected. For two and a half years she struggled to conceive. Her husband was the greatest support system and he kept reassuring her they would someday become parents. “We tried during the two years and I began to avoid all functions or meetings where I would bump into anyone; a family member or friend who would discuss matters child birth. Baby showers were not my cup of tea for a while,” Wambui who works in insurance firm recalls.
After sometime, her husband realised she was withdrawn. “Not being able to conceive gave a somewhat incomplete feeling. It was devastating and it made me wonder why people kept intruding into our personal space. I think my struggle and stress was more from within than without. I say mine because my husband was supportive and much at ease. He was my rock and encouraged me all along. Our parents were also supportive, they prayed for us, visited us and kept checking on us,” Wambui says.
Eventually, Elizabeth reached out to a friend who knew how the shoe pinched. She needed someone to walk with and Anne Wanjiku aka Ciiku wa Soxxy was the friend she got in touch with. Ciiku and her husband, DJ Soxxy had also struggled to get a child. The now proud parents of two referred Wambui to a doctor. “I was found to have hormonal imbalance and was put on medication. I became less stressed. We also formed a wonderful friendship with Ciiku and DJ Soxxy as we walked together. Both her and her husband have been supportive in our parenting journey,” she says.
The Kanyugos started having more fun. “I stopped being too harsh on myself. The day I stopped stressing about it and I gave up because it was beyond me, God did it and I learnt that stress doesn’t go well with trying to conceive (TTC),” she laughs.
“We were excited and we looked forward to meeting our baby. She loved being pregnant and was glowing,” James says.
He walked with his wife through the pregnancy journey and was present when their daughter was born on June 23, last year. “I was in the labour room with her and I was lost for words when our daughter, Wendo arrived. It was such a miracle witnessing childbirth. I shed real tears of joy and never left my wife’s side. She was exhausted from the labour,” he recalls.
Wambui says conception, pregnancy and the whole process of child birth is not something to be taken for granted. It is a miracle. “We trusted God who had done it for others, but along the way, my faith dwindled and I had to ride on my husband’s, parents and siblings’ encouragement,” Wambui adds.
According to the young couple, parenting requires teamwork. When the bundle of joy arrived, her family was elated. “Our daughter learnt to say Guka before mum and has daily video calls with her grandparents; that’s how much she is loved. It takes a village to raise a child,” she says. Her village is her nanny, grandparents, aunts and uncles who spoil her.
But, however much spoiling baby Wendo gets, Wambui and James are strict on discipline. “We have not delegated discipline to anyone and even at one year, she understands the word chapa (I will beat you) when she’s on the wrong. Her father and I are not sparing the rod. She loves affirmation and we have realised it gives her a lot of confidence and positive aggression,” Wambui notes.
The young family is intentional with how they bring up their daughter. “We surround ourselves with peer parents and parents of older children so that we pick what works best for her. For example, she sits still when its time for prayer and we think, we are doing a good job so far,” she says.
The couple further watch cartoons with their daughter. Wendo’s favourite activities include painting, singing and doodling. Wambui wishes to get three more children, James on the other hand is still obsessing over his Wendo.