All mums deserve to be valued and loved

Monday, May 10th, 2021 00:00 |
Dr Jane Wangaruro, sociologist. Photo/PD/SANDRA WEKESA

Sandra Wekesa @wekesasandra 

Songs have been composed in praise of mothers. Poems have been written. Much has been said about mothers.

But then, there are those who shudder at the thought of motherhood— talk of teen mums, those estranged from their children because of one reason or another and even those serving jail term and as a result feel they may be a bad influence to their children.

Dr Jane Wangaruro, a sociologist and lecturer at Kenyatta University, however, says no matter the circumstances, a mother is still a mother.

That despite pressure from society, they still play a major role in ensuring they sacrifice what they have, to ensure their children get the best.

“On the issue of teenage mothers, it is okay to say they made a mistake because we are still battling rising cases of teenage pregnancy in the country.

However, we also need to understand that this is part of their past and evicting them from home just because they messed up is not an option,” she says.

Embrace positivity

 “Yes, they might have made a mistake at some point of their lives, but they deserve nothing but support, encouragement and understanding from the society,” says Wangaruro.

She adds that it is important for mothers in such a situation to understand this is a stage in their life they need to get over and change to be a role model in the society.   

On her part, Esther Mbau, counselling psychologist at Kipepeo Training Consultants, says mothers need to allow themselves to be human—they need to understand they make mistakes and work through issues and forgive themselves.

She explains that although sometime there could be a feeling of shame, guilt and embarrassment this may lower one’s spirit hence be unable to take care of your child 

“A child is a blessing, not a mistake. So, celebrate yourself on Mother’s Day and any other day.

Allow yourself to be human. Work through stigma or sense of guilt and rise again,” she says.

She notes that it is important to forgive yourself, let go of the past and embrace your present and look at the brighter future. Allow life to start unfolding and look at it in a positive way.

“It’s not what others say about you, rather what you tell yourself.  For those not in good terms with their children, it’s safe to say, make peace with them and work on the issues that could be a hindrance to the relationship,” she says.

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